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‘m sorry you had to go through this. Its been 3 days since your post. How did the conversations go?
This might not be timely but when I read your post I thought how awful and out of control this may have felt.
If you feel there is space to do that, here are my thoughts on what I would bring up with them so you can move forward with clearer communication systems:
You are not simply entitled to be informed and see schedules of work; you’re the decider. Nothing should happen in your home that you don’t know about or haven’t authorised. I understand you may feel this has been implicitly authorised when notified of ‘cutting holes’ but equally it happened as a surprise and without caring to give an explanation at the time.
There could be a point to be made that the work has been carried without your informed consent.
You are responsible for your home and have to ensure all is in place to carry safe renovations. So its simple, you authorise what, when and how. And you can’t do that without information about structures, costs, timeline, possible risks, methods, etc.
I hope you feel you can trust the contractors and they’re engaging in meaniful discussion now.