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Showing off the new extension project
I’ve posted here a few times, I thought I would share some images. We bought a 3 bed with an awkward layout (the living room and garage were on the same side of the house). Council refused us planning permission to extend into the loft as we were doing a rear and side double storey extension. We had to fit in 5 bedrooms on the first floor.
The journey has been long, the builders left us and other peoples projects and disappeared. Traumatic would be a major understatement. Due to finances, delays etc we had to move in with 4 young children into a property with no stairs, flooring, windows or kitchen last August and it’s been 3 months since there has been some sort of normality. It hurts to even type this. Our family is fractured, I would never go through a house build again. It wasn’t worth it.
I would hire a architect who understood my idea of energy conservation, who wasn’t so fixed on putting his style statement through (very structured and glass) do we really need more than one rooflight? Or so much glass? The brightness looks good but its not functional, in terms of conserving heat. Our Architect designed commercial properties but decided he wanted to try residential, my other half also loved the idea of zinc, glass and a modern structured i am more of a curved arches, crittal with a touch of colonial design aesthetic person. So i guess what really disappointed me is that my ideas were never considered even though i told the architect. You need someone who understood the needs of a family and of a family home instead of just the exterior aesthetics and how it would go onto look on their portfolio. Does a mum of 4 really need endless windows to clean when also holding down a FT job? I honestly would go with a female architect who has a proven track record understanding client needs. would not fraternise with the builders (something I personally never did) I would make sure my partner and children’s needs were considered every step of the way because they are the ones the build is for. There will be lots and lots of lows, within that the family bond should be kept strong, if one partner is feeling low other should be supportive but not allow themselves to be treated as a verbal punching bag at every opportunity. A woman is usually the one who makes the house a home, so let her have a say in storage, types of kitchen cabinets. A house can be an amazing build in the construction phase, using the right, sturdy materials but equally it’s the execution and what is visible after the build which matters. There’s no point in boasting that you have used F&B paint of the tradesman have done a terrible job of plastering. If you are completely re-wiring the house then carefully consider the placement of all the light switches. When your architect is designing the house make sure they give you all the measurements correctly so that you have space for decent wardrobe. You really have to visualise the furniture placement in every room, do I have enough space for all my key items of furniture? Do not pay your builder in cash further into the build because you think you have a great relationship. Keep money back (this is obvious but not always done)
Interior design wise I think the money really pays off paying for a one off fee for a paint consultant.
Really really make sure you understand the building plans. Keep asking and questioning anything you don’t understand. Men still prefer to talk to men in this day and age which is off-putting. Always listen to your instinct, they are usually right.
Our builders ordered windows from Poland, I kept asking to be consulted on the design but they did it with the father of my children. We now have windows that don’t have small windows at the top so I don’t like leaving the windows open because I’m always anxious about break-ins.
There’s so many design flaws that they really irritate. I would sound really petty if I listed them all but I am the one that has to live with them.
Oh yes another first World problem. A kitchen with gold trim also means having to go for a gold tap and our Caple gold tap is because the flow is so weak and for some reason the dirt in the Caple sink just sits all around the sink, I swear my old franke sink the dirt / debris used be ever so slightly angled towards the sink waste.
The one thing I really put my foot down was a green kitchen with white quartz, i got so much grief about the kitchen colour but i remained stubborn. By this time I was honestly breathing fire at every little thing and I just ignored all niceties and told the kitchen supplier that he better listen to me and my instructions only, again this was not immediately reciprocated. He was the one who told us to get Caple btw.
Another thing, I was not allowed to choose lights. They all had to be Astro lights, anything I chose was a battle. Kitchen island lights aren’t to my liking, there’s too much natural daylight during the day and then at night, not enough lighting the number of spotlights aren’t enough. The other half went rogue on the light layout given by architect. Do not get bedside wall lights with inbuilt switch, they are a faff and there’s not enough design variety out there. Get lights you can control with an on and off switch separate to the light (hope that makes sense) or better just get a normal bedside table lamp which you can switch up regularly.
I went to my builders doorstep and cried and cried for the sake of my children. I fell to the ground, he was on his way to Church that morning. I asked him how he would face his God knowing he had left a family like this. A home with no bannisters, where my children nearly fell through several times, nowhere to even plug in something to cook. When we did get a working socket I was making toasted sandwiches in a sandwich maker for the kids for lunch and dinner and we could see the builders smirking. From that day on I lost all sense of courtesy, to sit there and laugh at my kids discomfort was unnerving.
Ellora Coupe thanks Ellora for the space, things put on social media can get shared very quickly so I’m always hesitant of what I should share. I put up a post on my IG account and the main contractor became threatening so I took it down
Those close to me know of the struggles but even my best friends didn’t understand despite all the pictures and videos I used to send just to vent. Until one day they visited and my friend had tears in her eyes, she said it’s actually overwhelming what you are putting up with when seeing everything in that moment instead of snippets.
I guess the partnership wasn’t present in my relationship or the shared vision which is why I didn’t get much of a say in anything.
The main things now are getting the house looking like a home, again there are so many restrictions. I’m not allowed to put up artwork because I might hit a pipe or electric wire. Furnishing a house is so expensive, we made mistakes buying stuff from FB marketplace because I wasn’t consulted or my requests were ignored. The house is full of plants, I’m not a plant person but my house is crammed with plants, as a working mum I can’t stay on top of the watering, cleaning.
I would say the two things that made it bearable was seeing the kitchen finished, my supplier was good in the end even though it took a while and our fabulous gardener who came in right at the end of the project and proved to be the sweetest person ever by transforming our garden. Actually listening to me when I said my children and I suffer from hayfever and designed a stunning low pollen garden
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9 Replies
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We built our house so all the mistakes are on us. I see them everyday and it really annoys me still 5 years later. Then I have to slap myself because I see the way other people look at my quite frankly amazing house and be grateful because I am incredibly fortunate to have what I have. Your house is stunning, the windows will always annoy you (I don’t like mine either) but it looks amazing be proud of what you’ve achieved.
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Absolutely stunning…. I feel the same , the effort was not worth the upset.
You have a stunning home x x love your style x
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Sorry it’s been such a painful journey to achieve but very very appreciative of your write up as it will no doubt help me if I have the privilege of such a big undertaking. Saving your post. Ps love the green.
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I have to agree, I wouldn’t do it again, it really isn’t worth it. I’m glad I’ve done it though, it was an itch I had to scratch. Best of luck to you x
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Oh honey…. sending all the virtual hugs. You don’t need us to tell you how crap you’ve been treated. Our builders start tomorrow. Not as extensive as you’re and husband and I have both agreed I’m project manager. Decisions are a 2 yes 1 no situation as well. Selfishly I hope our situation is smoother than yours
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Love the home, sorry you went through such hell to get to the finished product! And I sympathise with you when you say your preferences and concerns were ignored. I hope you can still enjoy your home despite the stress.
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Wow an honest post and one I resonate with so much. I have so many regrets from buying this house and going through a very stressful and costly renovation. It has impacted my relationship and my health. I feel for you. It does look like a fab house but I know how the appearance can mask an abundance of pain xx
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Thank you, yes I feel like I’m not looking at the positives but the experience is still so raw. Ideally I would prefer to move into another place. There’s no joy in living in the house, even when I arrive home I just rush in, I hate even looking at the house from the outside.
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Thanks for the comments everyone, I appreciate them.
Heres a few more pics of the project
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